Welcome! And thank you for tuning into my first article of its kind; in what will hopefully come to be a series of “How To’s”.
First up, “How To: Manage your noise” – Three tips for overcoming some tough mental moments and regain clarity.
*These tips are not intended to treat or diagnose in any capacity. They are merely suggestions and moments of my own experience- enjoy!
How To: Manage your Mental Noise
Interesting first article for someone who’s spent their lifetime in the gym. My ability to coach a core workout is top tier and I have fitness tips galore. But this topic, however vulnerable is very real to me and I hope by sharing, it may assist someone else who is experiencing something similar.
I’d like to be fancy, psycho-babble about the realities of struggling with emotional control or emotional regulation but truth is, they’re just full-fledged temper tantrums. Luckily now they occur less frequently, but as a teenager and young adult- they severely impacted my relationships and decision-making.
For me, these temper tantrums are a combination of too much physical and mental noise.
I may be incorrect but I think now this is more socially accepted and recognized as sensory overload or overstimulation. This may not be as uncommon as us individuals originally thought and has helped me not feel so isolated, but nevertheless, I can still get trapped in a victim mentality.
So how have I managed some of the mental noise and flipped my mindset out of a victim state to one of confidence, empowerment, and joy.
What 3 things truly helped me manage the mental noise and shift my mindset?
- LISTEN to your loud
- Talk to your loud
- Love your loud
Notice, none of these things avoid your thoughts and feelings but rather allow them to show up without any emotional attachment or action.
Check it out!
1. Something I have learned to utilize more in my thirties is self-awareness and mindfulness. These tools have helped me sit with and understand my physical body & mental thoughts more clearly. Sometimes, especially if you experience sensory overload it’s most important to stop any physical action or movement & LISTEN to your LOUD.
Even if that means dropping to the kitchen floor while the dish water runs because the TV is too loud, breakfast is cooking, your kid is screaming mom incessantly (did you just cringe?) …and NOW is the time to really stop and listen.
Those parts of your brain that seem to be ‘screaming’, they are typically insecure, self sabotaging, and negative thoughts & they need your attention. They need your love too.
So stop, put it all down and listen.
This is where your awareness begins to grow. You can start to pick things up that are yours and set down stuff that is weighing you down or simply not yours to carry anymore. You can only do this if you are willing to listen first. Here we get to be in a space of awareness and acknowledgment.
What does your physical body need? Are you hungry, thirsty? Are you aching or sore? Did you get enough sleep? Is this more mental & emotional or can you feel this stress in your physical body?
2. Now we’re aware and we’ve acknowledged but don’t really feel any better. You have sh*t to do-I GET IT, but I also know that if you try to continue your day like this; with a nagging bully brain you’ll wish for anything to make your day better.
So do it Talk to your loud, sift through its signals. Otherwise, you’ll be moody, miserable, and a monstrosity of a human if you don’t.
I recommend using all sorts of tools on any given day to help sift through; journaling, meditating, exercising/stretching, taking a bath or shower, get outside, etc. Give yourself the time and space to acknowledge what shows up. Thoughts or worries require 0 action in this moment. Avoid any problem-solving or rationalization; everything comes & goes.
Number two, seems to be where we can get stuck. We will recognize a thought and then unknowingly label it as a good or bad, negative or positive. Then we try to summarize or create a narrative in support of the label and a spiral of thoughts and emotions emerge. We remain stuck. LET THOUGHTS GO- let them show you, listen, then respond back.
3. LOVE your LOUD.
As I mentioned above, these thoughts and feelings that arise. They need your attention and most importantly, your love. All interactions and actions should come from a space that feels good to you. If we are reactive, we are typically acting out of a state of emotion in the moment. If you’re unsure, pause. Allow some space between that thought and action.
Honestly, sometimes no action is the best action.
I had to do some internal digging, I had to stop going through the motions and regimen of day-day tasks, chores and mundane events. I started listening to my mental and physical body. If I wanted to feel better I needed to eat well, drink water and move my body. If I wanted to have more fun in my day, I had to create it. And if I wanted to make more money in my week, I need to open opportunities for this to happen. Or if I wanted more time for myself on the weekend… you get the point. I was in charge, this whole time!
This revelation was huge, I am no longer seeking outside validation or external influence because I know I got my own back.
Once I had this trust back, I started believing, “If I don’t love it, It’s not for me.”
This is profound, I no longer give away time and attention to things I am not passionate about. Really, since 2020 and becoming self-employed I have been able to set more boundaries and offer my attention to things that matter more to me, like MY own needs, values, and interests.
I really encourage you to spend 10 minutes with yourself-try out one of the tools mentioned above. If we all made this time for ourselves regularly we would not be forced to at times that seem most inconvenient or wind up in a hulk rage temper tantrum.
Number three can be tricky, especially if we are so willing to give our love away to others.
Loving ourselves first, prioritizing our needs, and staying in alignment with our own goals and values is the foundation for stable mental & physical health.
If you start to feel off path, revert to tip number one and repeat. This is a process and for me I’m sure will be an ongoing practice throughout my lifetime.
Your thoughts are powerful and they’re yours, use them wisely!
You got this!
My name is Kaelei Spoor, I am a certified personal trainer, a lifestyle and wellness coach, a competitive gymnastics coach and hold a BA in psychology. Although these accolades are great. I am excited to create and share my experience as a human filled with gratitude, some wins, and many losses- I hope you enjoy, & thanks for reading!