For every breakdown, there are thousands of blessings but if we only focus on the breakdowns, we will never see the blessing. ~ Chris Lee ~
What is a breakdown?
Simply put, a breakdown is a detour, a curveball, an inconvenience in our situation.
How many times in your life have you been thrown curveballs?
This pandemic was a major curveball for all of us. For some, it could not have happened at the worst times. Our individual life events whether we are experiencing financial and emotional stress, unaddressed health problems and/or weight gain, or relationship problems, all of which are now amplified. Our own life challenges added to the pandemic, and a chaotic political and racial climate has seriously created an environment for tsunamis of breakdowns.
How do we combat breakdowns?
Here are several avenues of approach to combat breakdowns and turn them into breakthroughs.
First, identify and accept that you are indeed having a breakdown. Sometimes we don’t even realize when we are stressed and are having a breakdown. And for some of us, because we do not want to seem like we don’t have our s*** together, we pretend that everything is okay to mask our problems and sweep the issue under the rug. Not only do we put on our greatest acts, but we also indulge in destructive behaviors like lashing out, drinking, pointing fingers, blaming, judging ourselves and judging others.
Pretending that everything is okay is NOT OKAY!
Is this starting to resonate?
We are conditioned to blame others for our own shortcomings and we often fail to take responsibility for contributing to the event. Blaming someone else is only a temporary resolution to a problem that already and still exists.
When we stop denying that we are having a breakdown and learn to accept and acknowledge it, we gain strength in our abilities to confront it. With acceptance, we become more aware, and more able to resolve issues. To have power over a breakdown, we must accept, acknowledge, own, and name it.
By questioning the circumstances we are faced with, it becomes easier to figure out how to take responsibility in a way that will empower us. Ask yourself, am I creating this breakdown, am I the cause of it, could I be the one provoking it?
Sometimes a breakdown is not your fault, but it becomes difficult to deal with the effects of it because you are now a by-product. Acknowledging your role and knowing that it is not your fault allows you to gain insight into the lessons embedded which allows you to better cope with it. When you understand that taking responsibility gives you access to your power, it gives you access to healthy interpretations in a way that will only allow you to move forward. Our lives are filled with lessons and blessings, good and bad. However, what’s most important is that there is room for growth.
Choose not to remain a victim of your situation, instead examine your perceptions and grow from them.
There is a difference between blame and responsibility and sometimes we get trapped between the two realms. Blaming temporarily relinquishes a person from owning up to a situation, while responsibility is about accepting a situation, processing it, understand your role in it and learning from it. By choosing interpretations that empower you, it becomes easier to move forward.
Peter Crone, the mind architect, made a stated that everything that happens to you, happens because it was supposed to happen and at first with naked ears, that statement may sound harsh, but when you take a moment to dissect it, you begin to understand that it’s not the event that shapes you, it’s how you come out from the events in your life that truly shapes you.
We often lean towards being defined and connected and consumed by negative events in our lives; when we understand that an attack on us in any way should not define who we are, that events are neutral, we detach meaning and significance, from those events, which gives us the power to breakthrough.
Instead of living a life being defined by your negative circumstances, adopt a spiritual standpoint, the spirit is bigger than the ego therefore taking responsibility for yourself and create an environment that transforms you will only empower you. Find the power within to allow the lessons in any given situation to propel you forward.
Bursting emotions causes implosions.
Take time to process your emotions. If emotions are not processed in a healthy way and become unchecked, they transform into destructive attitudes and behaviors. The two main emotions most people do not process are guilt and resentment, which often show up as diseases in our bodies. Consequently, there are unhealthy ways of processing stress which manifests themselves as guilt and resentment and leads to blaming, screaming, drinking, etc. This behavior is can be destructive, because of the cycle that emerges with the lack of accountability. Being able to let go takes daily effort, once you can let go, you can forgive.
Stress in any form can have a significant impact on our health, especially when we do not have healthy ways to combat it.
A lot of times when we decide to live more productive lives, we tend to seek forgiveness from others when most of the time, it’s ourselves that we most need to forgive. Forgiveness is freedom and the key to transforming breakdown to breakthrough. This is why it is important to start with forgiving oneself first.
When we seek freedom, it begins with making conscious decisions to forgive daily. If you can not forgive, you will forever be emotionally bound. Commit each day to create a clean slate, to getting rid of old baggage in your life so that you can create better memories and better events. Focus on positive things and positive affirmations. The most important investment you can make in your life is in yourself. Find your tribe. Trust the process and trust that the things that are happening in your life are happening in your favor.
Be intentional with your decisions to have the best outcomes in your life. Identify the actions you want to take and find the resources to support your actions. Surround yourself with a team of people who will help you with your journey to a better you. Invest in a mentor, a coach, a fitness professional, a business coach, or a therapist. Create a team of people that will love you and who will always be honest with you, who will support you and will hold you accountable on your journey.
When all is done, celebrate yourself and your accomplishments by doing something nice for YOU.
Here are a few suggestions to relieve stress:
Journaling. Write down your feelings, write what’s upsetting you, what you may be resentful about. Confiding in someone you trust, who will not judge you but will allow you to release your emotions. Playing music and dancing. Find that thing that you love to do and use it as an outlet to relieve stress.
If you are in pursuit of freedom and living a stress-free life, here are some action items to implement:
Create a list of the biggest breakdowns in your life that is causing the most stress, and follow these steps to find your breakthrough and
1. Accept and acknowledge your breakdown and
2. Take ownership and let go of the emotion associated with the breakdown.
- What are the biggest breakdowns in your life right now?
- Make a list of the top 5 things in your life that you are proud of.
Reference: Lewis Howes |School of Greatness Podcast with Chris Lee episode 1049