Shame keeps you stuck, not motivated!
We’ve all heard it before: “Motivation gets you started, but discipline keeps you going.” And I agree 100%. But what happens when even getting started feels impossible?
For some people, it’s not just a matter of being lazy or distracted. It’s the result of telling themselves NO so many times that now, the idea of showing up feels like trying to move a whole damn mountain.
The Problem Isn’t Lack of Motivation — It’s Shame
When motivation doesn’t come naturally, many of us don’t try a different approach.
We don’t ask for help or get curious.
We turn inward — and spiral into shame.
Sometimes that shame is internal, but a lot of the time? It’s borrowed from outside voices:
- That family member who calls you out at a cookout:
“Wow, you’re as big as a house!” - The toxic trainer who uses “tough love” as an excuse to be abusive.
- The wellness influencer who makes you feel like your life is falling apart because you didn’t start your morning with lemon water and breathwork.
I’m sure you have your own unique anti-cheerleader in your corner.
Shame Doesn’t Spark Change — It Paralyzes It
You cannot bully your body into wellness. Just like a mean boss doesn’t fire you up to go to work, talking to yourself like trash is going to have the same effect. Except in this case, you’re not even getting paid.
So What Actually Helps You Start Again?
The real starter pack for change is this:
- Compassion for where you are
- Curiosity about what went wrong
- Clarity about where you want to go
- A strategy that feels like care — not punishment
One thing I teach my clients is CURIOSITY over JUDGEMENT!
The Shift: From Shame to Self-Leadership
If you’ve been struggling to get started — not because you don’t care, but because you’re scared, overwhelmed, or burnt out — this is your reminder:
You’re not broken, behind or lazy.
You’re just not interested in doing it from a place of shame anymore.
And honestly? That’s growth.
The next step is committing to being SELF AWARE! We WILL miss the mark, we are only human, but learning to see the role we play in our situations vs handing all our power to external source.
Let’s Talk:
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What have you told yourself “no” to — over and over — that you’re finally ready to say yes to?
Siobhan aka Coach Bons | Mind Embody Fitne
