
Break Free From the Emptiness Machine!
Ever feel like you’re living someone else’s life? Like somewhere along the way, you just… disappeared? You chased the promotions, the bigger house, and the title on your LinkedIn profile. And it worked. Your career? It’s thriving. But you? You’re running on empty.
The friendships that once grounded you? Fading. The hobbies that used to light you up? Forgotten. Your energy? Spent on a career that keeps taking but never gives back.
You told yourself it was all for the future. But now the future is here. You’re in your 40s, and instead of feeling fulfilled… you feel empty. You’ve been driving the emptiness machine. The promotions, the deadlines, the grind… it keeps going, but it’s taken pieces of you along the way.
Here’s my story
For years, I thought I was doing everything right. I chased the promotions, stayed late to hit deadlines, and constantly pushed myself to go above and beyond. I told myself it was all for the future – the house, the stability, the sense of accomplishment. But one day, sitting in my car after another long day at work, I felt something I hadn’t admitted to myself before: emptiness.
Not pride. Not satisfaction. Just… empty.
It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I’d been running on autopilot, driving what I now call “the emptiness machine.” The relentless grind of work had slowly consumed every part of my life, and I had let it. My friendships had faded, my energy was gone, and, worst of all, I couldn’t even remember the last time I prioritized me.
If this resonates with you, I want to share what helped me break free. Setting boundaries didn’t just help me feel human again—it actually made me better at my job. Here’s how I did it, and how you can too.
Here’s something I’ve learned: work doesn’t stop. There will always be more emails, more meetings, and more “urgent” tasks. If you don’t set boundaries, it will expand to fill every available moment, leaving no space for yourself. That’s exactly what happened to me.
I had no clear start or end to my day. Lunch breaks? Nonexistent. My phone was always on, and I was constantly “just checking in” to stay ahead. But staying ahead came at a cost: my health, my relationships, and my identity.
Step 1: Setting Boundaries Without Sacrificing Performance
One of my biggest fears was that setting boundaries would make me look lazy or uncommitted. But the opposite happened… I became more productive.
Here’s how I set those boundaries:
1. Take a Real Lunch Break
I realized that skipping lunch made me sluggish by mid-afternoon, which meant I wasn’t giving my best work. So, I booked my lunch into my calendar every day, just like I would a meeting. I used that time to step away from my desk, eat properly, and clear my head. Sometimes I went for a short walk or listened to a podcast to recharge mentally.
2. Set Clear Start and Finish Times
I committed to starting my day at 8:30 AM and finishing at 5:30 PM. No more checking emails before bed or waking up to “just get a head start.” This gave me clear boundaries between work and personal time, allowing me to show up fully in both areas.
3. Batch Tasks to Stay Focused
I realized a lot of my “long hours” were because I was multitasking and constantly switching between projects. I started batching tasks, blocking time for emails, deep work, and meetings so I could focus without distraction. This helped me get more done in less time.
4. Say No to Unnecessary Meetings
One of the biggest changes I made was questioning the value of every meeting. If it wasn’t necessary, I politely declined or asked for an update via email instead. This freed up hours of my week for more meaningful work.
Step 2: Protecting My Reclaimed Time
Once I started setting boundaries, I knew I had to protect the time I’d reclaimed. Here’s what I did:
- Use Time Intentionally. I didn’t let my reclaimed time go to waste. My lunch break wasn’t for scrolling Instagram; it was for recharging. My mornings became sacred and where I focused on my health and fitness. A good breakfast to set me up for the day and a solid, structured gym session.
- Create a Wind-Down Routine. At 5:30 PM, I turned off my laptop and transitioned into personal time. I might take my dog for a walk, cook dinner, or call a friend. This helped me switch off from work and reconnect with my life outside of it.
- Build a Support System. I told colleagues and clients about my boundaries so they understood when I was available and when I wasn’t. I found that people respected my time when I respected it myself.
Step 3: What Changed at Work
Here’s the part I didn’t expect: once I started setting boundaries, my performance actually improved.
- More Energy, Better Focus. By taking breaks and prioritizing rest, I had more energy throughout the day. This meant I could tackle projects with focus and creativity, rather than dragging myself through them.
- Clearer Priorities. With limited work hours, I became ruthless about prioritizing what truly mattered. I stopped wasting time on low-value tasks and focused on the work that moved the needle.
- Improved Relationships. Setting boundaries didn’t just benefit me, it benefitted my team. I showed up more engaged and present in meetings, which strengthened collaboration and trust. They also followed my example and reclaimed time for themselves.
The biggest shift, though, was in how I felt. I no longer dreaded Mondays or felt guilty for logging off. I knew I was giving my best at work and in my personal life.
Extra Tips for Breaking Free from the Emptiness Machine
If you’re feeling stuck, here are a few more strategies that helped me reclaim my time and myself:
- Turn Off Notifications. I silenced work emails on my phone after hours. This simple step helped me stay present in my personal life without the constant pull of work.
- Start Small. If the idea of setting boundaries feels overwhelming, start with one. Commit to taking a real lunch break every day, or setting a firm finish time, and build from there.
- Delegate When Possible. If you’re carrying too much on your plate, ask yourself: what can I delegate? Letting go of control was hard for me, but it was essential for creating space.
- Check In With Yourself. Every week, I take 10 minutes to reflect: Am I sticking to my boundaries? What’s working, and what’s not? This helps me stay accountable and make adjustments as needed.
Final thoughts
You Don’t Have to Sacrifice Yourself to Succeed!
Breaking free from the emptiness machine doesn’t mean abandoning your responsibilities or letting your work slip. It means recognizing that you can’t pour from an empty cup and that taking care of yourself is the key to showing up as your best self.
If you’re ready to start prioritizing yourself but aren’t sure where to begin, let’s chat. DM me today, and I’ll help you create a plan to reclaim your energy, your confidence, and your life.
You deserve this. You deserve you!