Lifestyle How to Deal With Stress And Build Resilience

In this article, we’ll tackle 5 secrets for building a resilient mindset, beating everyday stressors whilst improving your health and lifestyle in a bustling world.

Believe me, I’ve had some really stressful times in life from job security, financial stress, grieving to moving house to name a few.
Below are some tips which we may not be aware of or can be overlooked a lot of the time, though can have a huge impact on how you view, think, and manage the stress in your life. They were real game changers in my experience. Could you couple them with daily exercise, uninterrupted sleep, eating healthy and nutritious meals throughout the day, connecting with friends, and getting outdoors to make them real gamechangers?

Let’s dig in and reframe how you deal with stress.


Tip #1 – Control what you can control

 Are you stressed by the things that you need other people to do or decide to manage?

This could be at home, in work or with friends and family. Do you need to micromanage different projects?
If you do, this can stem from your need to be right, need to be perfect or the need for approval form others. This response comes from a time when control and approval were essential for survival.
Control what is in your sphere of control. Ask yourself what “do I have any influence of a certain situation”? If so, what can you influence or if not try to accept it for what it is and move on.

The whole world was stressed. when the pandemic hit 2 years ago. Why? Because it was out of people’s control. Some other example of what cause people stress are:

  • Balancing Life and work
  • Lack of Control
  • Communication
  • Moving House
  • Poor Health
  • Injury
  • Commuting
  • Conflicting change
  • Others’ expectations
  • Financial worries
These are elements of our demanding lives that could cause you to become stressed or lead to eventual burnout, if you are not able at least sometimes to just let….it …. go!
Constantly remind yourself that you can let go of both your need for control and your need for approval and you will still survive.

Tip #2 – Live your Values

I absolutely believe in the power of resetting. I can’t think of a more powerful way to double down on ourselves than getting clear on our values and the behaviours that support them—and the shit that gets in the WAY.”
– Brene Brown
By identifying our values, we can begin to design a life that is in better alignment with our true self. Keep in mind that values are different for everyone—you are the only one who can identify your values. Some examples of values are below here.
Values drive our behavior at a subconscious level. Everything we do or interact with is governed by what we value in life. If certain situations in life is causing you massive stress, ask yourself:
” Am I living in line with my highest values”?
For example, if you value fun and respect highly in your job and you don’t honor these on a daily basis you will probably not like doing your job very much! Maybe you would need to have some difficult conversations. It’s quite easy to go with the flow and lose sight of our values. It’s a lot harder to live by our values and do what’s right for ourselves in the long run.
Can you bring your core values into your life on a daily basis?

Tip #3 – Manage your Time Better

Having a visual aid to help us see where our time is managed can provide us with very insightful feedback, we can use to assess ourselves.
It’s good to figure out where we spend all our time during the day or week. The tool above can help identify patterns or where you simply would like to spend more of your time.
  1. Assign colours and give each type of activity a unique colour by filling the box nest to it. (I have some examples in the diagram)
  2. Colour each hour of your day based on the activity you usually fill that time with.
  3. Evaluate and adjust. Take a close look. Are you filling your time with the colours that matter most to you?
  4. Relocate time to fit your goals and/or values.
The key is to find the activities that deliver something for you in terms of your personal values and goals. If you find that you haven’t been able to do much of what you love or value, then you need to ask yourself

 Tip #4 – Breathe

At times we can react without thinking (that’s me). Again, our minds are playing catch up the the fast-moving world we live into day. This would have served us in our hunter gatherer days where threats were all around us and we had to act quick in a life-or-death situation, though the same response can happen if we get a wrong email today!
Consistently being triggered in these ways can have lasting and chronic impact on our health and wellbeing.
Next time you feel like exploding, Breathe….
  • Count to 10 before you react
  • Change the environment you’re in for a few minutes
  • Remember you are in control of you
Breathing in a controlled manner for a few mins can build our resilience to stress and engage our rational minds. The nerves inside our noses are linked to our parasympathetic nervous system or our rest and digest and can reduce our heart rates by getting more oxygen into our bodies so we can think and make more rational decisions. Give the example below a try from 1-5 minutes next time things get a bit hot under the collar.

Tip #5 – Live in the Present

Lastly, knowing just a little bit about how you have the power to be in control of your health and mindset can boost performance and can go a long way in helping you succeed.
  • Being aware of the body

Simply noticing what the body is making contact with brings us into the present

moment. Noticing the feet touching the floor, for example. The barrier is forgetfulness – cues can help – mindful bell on app store/ washing hands etc.

  • Noticing our breath (As above)

If it feels ok to, noticing that the body is breathing. If we are feeling particularly stressed, elongating the out breath for 4 to 6 seconds as above can help.
  • Coming to our senses

We can notice the world around us through our 5 senses. Noticing what we can see, hear and touch brings us into the here and now of our experience. When we are mindfully aware, we can notice our inner thoughts and emotions.



 Overall people get stressed when they have a sense that they are unable to cope.

Using the tips above can really be powerful teammates in your corner when things get a bit hectic. Remember you are in control of you and nobody else, you have the power of how you react in situations, crushing stress and building a resilient mindset which can boost your performance personally or professionally. Leave a comment below if you found the above helpful.
Interested in finding out more?

You can learn more about managing stress and improve your mindset by booking a discovery call here.

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